Pun Dog #6 (previously) [x]
if you can dish it (and I mean just be mean and not even be witty about it) and then you can’t take it (especially when I’m witty about it and am obviously being sarcastic and joking)
Then get out of my kitchen cause this recipe for friendship requires no eggs and I’m not going to step on the shells just to please you.
Haters gonna hate.
I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.
What my guardian angel must look like at times…
(Source: fuks, via tastefullyoffensive)
(Source: daezilly, via roughnscruff)
“I wish so much there had been a Rae when I was growing up. It would have made my life so much easier to have had someone real on TV that I could have looked at and gone: ‘I kind of look like her. I don’t look perfect, but she’s got friends. People love her so maybe people will like me for being me. I don’t have to change. I can just be myself…’ How can kids and teenagers feel comfortable when they can’t see anyone who looks like them anywhere?” - Sharon Rooney
New beautiful promotional images for The Amazing Spider-Man 2
(Source: andrewandemmaarethesun, via wanderlustimmer)
Gothic Lit: Our prof teaches us that one of the ways to keep a vampire in the graveyard is to sprinkle grain or rice by the grave so that when the vampire arises he’ll get distracted and count the rice and grain. Because vampires were associated with obsessive compulsiveness.
Like the count from Sesame Street. OH MAN. MY MIND. There’s so many layers. INCEPTION.
do you think he knows
What I find really astonishing isn’t that a giant land snail managed to earn a doctorate, but that he managed to land a national TV spot despite displaying this kind of egregious, disrespectful behaviour towards his co-host.
it got better
(Source: uater, via notsoplainbutinsanejane)
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
Academy Awards Pizza Guy arrives to work after delivering the pizza
the most important person at the oscars tbh
Look at him going right back to work. That is a good pizza man.
(Source: klumtv, via damnthatswhack)
"My dream is valid, Lupita. My dream… is valid."
I laughed way too hard at this
HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY ?
Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.
At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.
The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.
Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.